Friday, January 28, 2011

The Richard Wad Post

So I recently, along with alot of other people I know, have become friends with Richard Wad on facebook. His schtick is that he is an ass and totaly rude.....its funny.....its annonymous. Who is it? I actually do know.....and no people its not me. More on that later... He posts things about how he likes traffic and crying, resetting peoples alarm clocks or how he likes mowing lawns early in the morning, causing road rage, or peeing in friends shampoo bottles ( horrible right?)........My favorite though is often when he accepts a friend request he insults them by comparing it to getting an STD or getting a root canal in a truck on a bumpy road or something......all this said......Richard....... you insufferable ass.....you arent the only one who gets to have fun. Heres todays post....... The true story of Richard Wad


Richard grew up in Riverside, Ca  (actually the dumbest city in America...I googled it)


Once his parents let him off the leash none of the kids liked him...so he spent his days playing with his pet rock and his little homemade goldfish "Floater"


As a young man he worked at the family sweatshop....er....business. Embroidering man puses he would later in life carry around .....


Interesting fact.... he still holds the California record for longest amount of consecutive years wearing headgear..9


also interesting fact.....first man born with only one nipple......and its on his leg...... weird??


Richard spent most of his childhood sick which has led to his countless adult phobias today........At the age of 12 he contracted mono the first time during his boy scout troop campout....


Later contacted mono the second time during altar boy rehearsals.....


Richard (first 17 year old with a comb-over) enlisted in the army after high school.


Richard was dishonorably discharged during the don't ask don't tell times when he "asked", "told", and "photoed".....


Contacted mono for the third time


After the military, Richard a frequent man cameltoe offender, stumbled onto what would become his profession....becoming a lab rat for major drug companies


Currently testing a hair regrowing drug with mixed results. It could be said that Richard now has the worlds fullest back hair combover.....nasty!


When Richard isn't at work or controlling the dungeons of Warcraft he spends his days crying...it sucks to still be a virgin in reality.....quite a "playa" online though!!!


Did however recently meet someone (Anita).... at the DMV....when the workers invited him to the holiday party cause "You are just like one of us Richard!!! "


Had to many drinks at the  party and woke up with a lower back tattoo..... those Cosmos pack a punch!!


Big hit with the ladies at the party though. Side note.. Richard is a hilarious knock knock joke teller...


Anita knew Richard was the one after she saw what can only be called.... the worlds bushiest mono brow....a side effect of the drug he is testing..... They also both shockingly have matching ringtones "Temptation Island theme song"......what are the odds?


and so now he and Anita...... and his mom all live together in a van down by the river. He is still a virgin. She says she is saving herself..........well.........for someone sexier.....but whatever......they are happyish...


In truth its a kinda sad story.....but when you are as big an ass as he is.... not surprising.....
He can spend his time stalking facebook..... being an jerk....and hanging out at John Barleycorns.....er....... never mind that........ being a Richard.... and I will read his filth.....and laugh ......cause it is funny......but its much funnier now knowing how sad the true life story of Richard Wad is..........................Ass!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. Thankyou for roasting that bovine ass of a man. Sometimes we hear of a person who has endured great hardship and challenges in life, and we feel sorry for them, perhaps even admire their courage. With others, we laugh heartily -- not WITH them, but AT them -- and yell "Serves ya right, dumbass!" Dick Wad is of the latter group.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thom it has been a struggle for him.....almost as big a struggle as it is for him to squeeze into his douchy jeans..........what an ass!

    ReplyDelete