Monday, July 9, 2012

The Slurpee Post

Welcome back to the blog everyone...
Alright.... by now.... wherever you are....
Your SUMMER is probably off to a good start!
Which is great!
And I for one...
Hope you are all out enjoying every bit of it...
Enjoying those outdoor activities....


No matter how dangerous!!
Like this guy!
Who loves summer so freekin much every year!!
But sadly....


Often spends the rest of it like this?


And by now I'm sure you have dug out...
...those favorite "summer clothes"...
The ones hat have been buried in your closet since last year!
You know the ones.......
The ones that are overly....


Breezy?!


But whatever...
And if you thought those clothes were bad.....
Remember on this blog....


Worse clothes are always right around the corner?




Anyways....
Ugh!
Let me shake that one off...
Ok..... 
Now Im sure by now.... 
You have all been cooling off at some pool.....


Maybe within a pool??


Or maybe you have been.....


Making your own pool?


Well either way hopefully you are enjoying the hot weather!


And that's what I wanted to talk about today...
COOLING OFF!


Cause for me...
 Cooling off means one thing each summer...


SLURPEES!!!
Yep..... those beautiful jugs of frozen sugar flavoring...
.... that on a hot day....


Can appear like an oasis at the nearest gas station!


Oh....you know that special drink...


The one that often come in..... really.... 

....weird.....


....flavors?


Yep that's the one...
That refreshing drink.....
That can turn even your brattiest neighbor kids....


...into complete nightmares!!


Well I for one...
I dont care...
I love the slurpee...
And sure.... the slurpee can be...


Somehow a controversial topic?


And sure...
 Some people can go overboard with how much they consume...


I for one... am not a fan of 7-11's....


"Fill Up A Trash Bag With Slurpee".... promotion!! 


But hey that's their deal...
And to their credit they do say that....


Which I find...
  "Just plain debatable!!"


But whatever...
The slurpee is like an American institution...


Now "the marketing" of it....  is at times......


Extremely questionable?


But that's a whole other topic for another day...
Now... let me leave you with a beautiful little slurpee story...
... to bring this post to a close...


A romantic story...


You see Jim met Candice at a 7-11 one day..


 And sparks flew..


They were in love!!!


And Jim proposed!!!


And I know what you ladies are thinking....
You are thinking she responded... 


Like this.... right??


Nope....  
She said YES!!!


I know I'm as shocked as you!!


And so they were married....


Right there at 7-11... ?!?


Yep... 
And they even had a...


Slurpee cake made!!!


Wow!!
Now I would like to be able to tell you...
....that they lived happily ever after!


 But sadly that's not the case..
You see... 
They divorced...


And Jim was devastated...
Candice moved on and met someone...


And as for Jim... well he never recovered...


In fact he still goes in to that same 7-11 every day...


... at the same time...


And he makes slurpees.... 


...that well....


 remind him ...


Of his favorite parts of her?!?


And on that note??
I hope you all are enjoying your summer..
And blog ya'll later!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Fourth Of July Post 2012

Hey everyone...
I wanted to take a quick second...
 and wish you all a happy 4th of July!!


Cause personally... I really love this holiday!!
Well...... in fact I love just about all holidays.... 
with the possible exception of Easter....




It was just always kinda creepy...
 and oddly cameltoe-ish?


But whatever....
Moving on...
Its the Fourth...
A holiday all about...
 "Breaking out the perfect 4th of July BBQ outfit!!"


Like my favorite.. "The Burger and Fries outfit"
Come on FRY PANTS!! Can it get any better?


But its so much more than that...
This holiday...
For me...
 Its about getting up early...
And using a Firework first thing in the morning!!! 


As a kind of "buddy alarm clock"....
(Man it works every time!!!!)


Yep...
Its just THAT special of a holiday!!
A time of year....


To dip your dog in the most "patriotic" of Kool-Aid flavors!!!!


Its a holiday designed....
....to crack open a couple beers and...


...make a "beer slip and slide"!?


Man how much fun would that be...
Speaking of beers and enjoying the outdoors on the holiday..
Why not combine the two....


Like this guy did!
A guy whose lone 4th of July dream is to one day be followed...
 by a "Nachos Inner Tube!!!"
That just kinda makes sense!!


Well for me...
This year...
 We will be firing up the BBQ and grilling some burgers...
And this year I will be trying a new recipe or two....


BBQ burger turtles!!!
Which children everywhere often review as..
 "Really really sad but yummy"


And if I decide to get even more creative...
 I might break out my patented....



Burger Chewbacca.... which is awesome!!!


But regardless...
Both are tasty...
Any coincidentally WAY better than when I got that burger...
.....from that one Portland burger food cart.....


Man that place was disturbing.... 


And "much less about burgers" than you might think!!!


But I am getting off point...
This post isn't about burgers...
Its about the 4th of July holiday...


So allow me to leave you with these last few holiday wishes...


On this 4th of July....
May your holiday cake.....


Always turn out perfect!!


And may you always win your.....


Firework battles!!




Even those battles you.....


Drunk-idly fight alone??




May your neighborhood 4th of July shows...
The ones you put on for the families on your block...
Well may they only help to explain.........


...why daddy and "his buddy Ricky" like to wrestle so much!


And lastly...
May you always find the perfect outfit to show the world....


"Your kinda patriotism"!!!


For me I will probably end the night with some beer around the fire pit..... 
My new Death Star fire pit!!!!


But whatever you end up doing...
Enjoy the day everybody...
And remember to not drink too too much....
Cause theirs always that guy who drinks too much..
The guy that....


Shoots his fireworks the WRONG way!!


Don't be the guy that shoots fireworks the wrong way!!
And...
Happy holiday
and blog ya'll later!